Spanking Watson

Spanking Watson: A Novel (Kinky Friedman Novels)

  This book has it all, Lesbians, nuns, the mob, Nazis and home improvement. The Kinkster is up to his old tricks with a plot that is absurd, comical and hipster cool. Kinky has a problem with his upstairs neighbor, who hosts a lesbian dance class, the girls are so enthusiastic that Kinky’ ceiling is coming down. He calls in a favor from a mob boss to get it fixed, but these guys don’t exactly work fast…one night, in frustration, Kinky gets blotto and writes a threatening note, totally in jest of course, but before he can destroy it one of his friends, and a member of the Village Irregulars comes across the note and pronounces the author (unknown to the Village Irregular) as a psycho killer. Kinky covers his tracks by saying the note was left on the upstairs neighbors door, and that being as how Kinky doesn’t have any gigs with his band, The Texas Jew Boys, and he is a veritable Sherlock Holmes as an amateur detective, he is handling the case. Well, seeing as how he has backed himself into a corner, he decides to have a little fun with it. He starts by convincing all the different Village Irregulars that only he or she is Watson to Kinkys Holms and sending them all on an assignment meant to disrupt the lesbian dance instructors life. And so the antics begin.

Just as a taste, chapter 15 starts out: “Jesus Christ was the first Texas Jewboy. Of course Texas had not been invented yet, but it surely existed in the vast, hot, dusty wanderings of the Israelites, not to mention the similarity of spiritual climate between looking for a manger in Bethlehem and finding a hotel room in Dallas, It’s also true that if you put cowboy hats and colorful; bandanas on Jesus’ loyal, zealous, somewhat eccentric disciples, they all tend to look and act like Gabby Hayes.”

If you are not familiar with Kinky Freidman, he is an American singer, songwriter,novelist, and humorist,and one time candidate for Texas Governor. He led the real life Texas Jewboys band who are a bit of a satirical send off to Bob Wills and The Texas Playboys, or so the rumor says. Other members of this esteemed musical outfit are Little Jewford, Big Nig, Panama Red, Wichita Culpepper, Sky Cap Adams, Rainbow Colours, and Snakebite Jacobs…..yeah, right. Perhaps their most famous song is “Get your Biscuits in the Oven and your Buns in the Bed” then again, "Asshole from El Paso" was pretty well received too. Needless to say, Kinky is all about social commentary (in a pigs eye). His books are filled with the same mix of satire, absurd comedy hipster chic grammar and a sprinkling of just the right amount of vulgarities to get you kicked of the golf course at most country clubs. Read him and enjoy.



© 2010 Robert Carraher All rights reserved

About DirtyLowdown
I was born in Pomona, California at a very young age. I had a pretty normal childhood…or I was a pretty normal child hood if mom is telling the story. I was a paperboy who always porched , usually on the subscribers porch. I washed cars and bussed tables which left me with a life time affliction of chapped lips. I was a soda fountain jock-jerk and a manic mechanic but my first real job was as a labor organizer in a maternity ward. Then, because of the misjudgment of a judge I spent nearly 10 years in the service of our country mostly on KP duty. Our country sure turns out a lot of dirty dishes. I am a past master at pots and pans. They eventually recognized my real talent and let me wander around some very unfriendly places carrying a big radio that didn’t work. Along the way I took up the bass guitar, jotting down stories, electronic engineering and earned a degree in advanced criminal activities. I spent most of my adult life, if you can call it that, working in the I.T. industry, which I was particularly suited for since we worked in rooms with no windows. On and off I taught in colleges, universities and reform schools as a student teacher… I like smog, traffic, kinky people, car trouble, noisy neighbors, and crowded seedy bars where I have been known to quote Raymond Chandler as pickup lines. I have always been a voracious reader, everything from the classics, to popular fiction, history to science but I have a special place in my heart for crime fiction, especially hard-boiled detective fiction and noir. I write a book and music review blog for all genres at The Dirty Lowdown and another dedicated to Crime Fiction and all things Noir called Crimeways. It’s named after the magazine that appeared in the Kenneth Fearing classic, The Big Clock. There I write scholarly reviews of the classic hard boiled, noir and crime fiction books from the 20's through today. Mostly I drool over the salacious pictures on the covers. I also write for Technorati/BlogCritics where I am part of a sinister cabal of superior writers.

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